I made another art journal page. Sort of worried this was too personal to share, but also felt like I can't be alone in this.
In case you can’t read it:
“i’m afraid to set any 2010 resolutions. why? my fear of failure. my fear of success. keeping me frozen in an unchanged state. i need to change in order to grow… to get better… to learn. i must embrace change. trust the process. stop staying exactly the same. step out of my comfort zone. be brave. this is my year!”
Right now I’m in this yucky stuck place of dealing with a lot of chronic pain. Pain makes me unwilling to do things that cause change because it feels unsafe or insecure. But staying here stuck in this pain is not safe and secure. It’s robbing me of my life. And, gosh darn it, I’m going to do something about that this year. The sooner the better.
I think the “setting resolutions” fears are more about failure. There is a lot I cannot do because of the chronic pain. So if I set a resolution and cannot make it happen, does that constitute failure? Not necessarily. I think as long as I just TRY this year I will be satisfied. If I do my best and still come up short then maybe it’s just not meant to be. Or maybe it’s not meant to be right now but will be in the future. I have to keep trying and not lose hope.
Be brave, my friends. This is YOUR year, too!
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4 comments:
Absolutely gorgeous page! And not too personal, in my opinion.
I'm sorry about your pain. Have you been tested for gluten intolerance and celiac disease? Fibromyalgia is linked to celiac disease and gluten, so I would get tested, just in case.
You are preaching to the choir honey! I'm in a similar position and have just decided this year to go all out full steam until the pain knocks my feet out from under me. It gives me a sense of a huge accomplishment and it helps me dealing with pain knowing I have something to look forward to getting back to. It's scary as hell but safe just isn't cutting it for me anymore and I wasn't growing creatively the way I was.
I really, really encourage you to break out of the safeness and everyday comfort! Best wishes!
I'm so sorry about your pain and completely understand the fear that keeps you frozen, because you just can't bring yourself to get past that fear. Your page is lovely btw and I think perhaps writing out your fear can help. Perhaps focus on what you can do versus what you can't...I wish you the best!
This IS your year, Vickie!
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