This video from Willowing really has made an impact for me today. She talks about being “good enough”. Plus she paints a beautiful art journal page. Take a moment to listen to her. She’s delightful, I promise!
“How often do you tell yourself you are not good enough?”
I have lost count. I think I say this to myself a lot. I mean A LOT. So I live in this constant state of “not good enough”, which is not a fun place to be. It makes everything I do seem worthless. It keeps me from getting started on pretty much anything. Why would I want to do/create/be something that will never be good enough?
Would you tell someone you love that they are not good enough? Then why are you doing it to yourself? All the “should”s “must”s and “have to”s … it’s crazy-making!
This kind of self-talk is limiting. It crushes part of my soul every time I say it to myself. It just keeps adding up. I believe it more the more I hear it. It’s not helping spur me onto self-improvement because I feel bad about myself and feel I am not worthy of being a better person. What happens then? Total stagnation.
I find that I end up running around, trying to get it all done, and falling short. I think, “See? How can I be good enough if it is ALL not finished today? See all this evidence around you that is screaming you are not good enough?!” You see, I have actual evidence.
This pattern happens way too much in my life as I deal with disabling pain and fatigue from daily chronic migraines and fibromyalgia. I cannot keep up with the rest of you “healthy” people. And I obviously have a problem accepting that. I have limitations that I have to respect or I get really ill. But to be honest, it makes me quite mad that I have these limitations. I have to remember that I am not my disability or my limitations. I am Vickie. I am an artist. And as a “beautiful exhale from The Universe” I am good enough already (even if the laundry is piling up and the house is dirty).
There is a huge difference between the bad self-talk about not being good enough and the motivation of wanting to improve because I am learning something new and I’m not quite where I want to be with it yet. That kind of “not good enough” creates movement – not stagnation.
I am taking Willowing’s excellent advice and taking deep breaths when I catch myself somewhere other than this moment. During fear, during pain, during limiting negative self-talk. I am giving myself permission to feel better, to be okay with myself wherever I am, and to be open to the possibilities around me. I am working on focusing on the stuff I can do rather than the stuff I can’t do.
How is the “Not Good Enough Monster” affecting your life? Please share in the comments how you deal with it!
Where to find more from Willowing: